


Yes

by Aondeug



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brainbent, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 07:57:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aondeug/pseuds/Aondeug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Brainbent fic. Kanaya is leaving St. Lobaf's. Her release form and preparations are all made. Save one: Rose still hasn't been informed of her coming departure. Feeling a need to inform her friend and crush Kanaya sets out to tell Rose of her decision at night before lights out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yes

**Author's Note:**

> And the work has at last appeared within Brainbent itself as a non-canonical fanwork.

Night had fallen on St. Lobaf’s. Both dinner and the final group therapy session of the day had concluded with minor incident. The only trouble sparking from the nigh ever hornery Karkat Vantas; he declared once more that he wanted nothing do with “THIS PUTRID FUCKING HAPPY CIRCLE OF SHAME AND PERSONAL EMBARRASSMENT”. Little else could be extracted from him save a short, “MY DAY WAS FUCKING LOVELY. HAPPY?” The rest of the session contained the typical foot shuffling and vague answers to questions. Both were attempts at avoiding the piercing glare and prodding of Doctor Pyrope and her associates. And then, with no more hurrying about the halls for paint therapy, the hour of bedtime approached.

 

As with most days Rose spent her solitary hour prior to lights out scribbling away into one of her two notebooks. The first she carried about with her for the purpose of noting behaviors and statements the others made. All in a day’s work for a junior psychoanalyst. The second book, however, was a mystery whose secrets not even Kanaya was privy to. Dave swore it was filled with “totally pornographic wizard slash where dudes be fucking like gothic bunnies in purple robes yo,” though. Kanaya honestly doubted the veracity of his claims and remained slightly confused by how he described such matters. Given the gerbil incident she figured herself better off, however.

 

Kanaya herself had taken to reading another supernatural romance. It was turning out to be Twilight levels of painful to read, but with an additional trashiness Meyers wasn’t capable of; she wasn’t certain if this made it more tolerable than the aforementioned travesty against fiction. This reading was as routine as Rose’s late night scrawlings. Yet soon, so very soon, this lovely schedule would be broken up. Because soon, so very soon, Kanaya would be released from in patient care. Once more free to tackle real life and hopefully this time better able to manage the task. As of yet only Nepeta knew; only that adorable cat loving girl who had convinced Kanaya to go through with her decision. And so she had, but now it was becoming ever the more obvious about what this would mean. From beyond the fear and wonder about whether she could indeed handle real life a stab of pain came.

 

No longer would she share a small room with the nearly always sarcastic Rose. Nor would she repair that positively dreadful bee while chatting with her. Nor yet join her in her junior psychoanalyst stake outs. Kanaya would be going home and though visits were a reality the fact remained that a parting would be had. Which was slightly troubling to say the least. And so Kanaya tried to focus ever the more on hopelessly dysfunctional relationships being romanticized. She was failing. Quite badly. Sentences were glazed over, her mind only partly on the words. Rose continued to write away, none the wiser about their impending parting. The parting that Kanaya truly wished she could avoid. After the months of harassing “Karkles”, she had found quite the friend in Rose, silly blonde woman that she was. Kanaya briefly pondered if anyone ever stayed in these institutions due to attachment. The idea was an unsettling one.

 

It did not keep her distracted for terribly long, however. The brief horror was overwritten by the frustrating ache that, soon, things would end. Changing. Hopefully for the better. So long as she worked at it it could and indeed would be for the better. The book was now wholly abandoned; only being kept open because Kanaya had so far neglected to close it. Then an idea more frustrating than the pain came to mind. Talk about it. No one at St. Lobaf’s liked talking about “it”. Not even Vriska who thrived on the attention of others. Everyone there, and most people in general Kanaya thought, hated the ever dreaded “it” and talking about it. Still the desire sat in her chest gnawing away slowly. Taking a deep breath she decided to give in to the annoying deisre. The idea wasn’t a bad one. Just an unpleasant one. In fact sitting around was likely the bad option.

 

Kanaya glanced up to see Rose still busily writing. Something was scratched out with gusto and she returned to her penning of whatever it was she wrote at night. No longer wanting to bring up the topic Kanaya turned back down to the book. She closed it and carefully placed it on the nightstand next to her, ignoring all compulsions to fiddle with the thing until it was positioned just right. Progress was a happy thing, but no head way being made on this latest of plans. None. Until Kanaya finally took the plunge, though she rather didn’t want to. “Rose” she asked, trying to get the other woman’s attention. She mentally cursed herself after that. Now, no matter what, Kanaya was trapped in the net of having to talk about the loathsome “it”.

 

Her fate was indeed sealed for Rose stopped in her writing to ask back, “Yes Kanaya?” The strange grimdark woman waited patiently for whatever her friend had to share. She might have grown frustrated with another or during a particularly unpleasant mood. As is Rose was plenty willing to allow Kanaya her time on divulging whatever information it was that she wished to share.

 

Rose did indeed have to wait for Kanaya could not find the words. Yet when she did they became caught in her throat and a growing need to hide away was forcing them down. It took a moment, some deep breaths counted, but Kanaya at last managed to work up a response. Still painfully anxious she finally piped up, “Rose There Is Something That I Wish To Share With You Because I Feel However Irrationally It May Be That You Should Be Informed About This”

 

The blonde turned back to face Kanaya. It was the polite thing after all and perhaps it may be reassuring. It was a tad and yet, in a way, more nerve wracking. Before Kanaya could continue she said, “Ah. Please hold for a moment. Such instances of valuable confession shouldn’t go undocumented. It’s just not professional.” It was a joke, but Rose grabbed her little book and pen all the same and, with a smile on her face, said, “Go on.”

 

It was a silly thing and it would have made others uncomfortable, but it had the effect Rose likely intended. Tension was slowly being eased away and the atmosphere had become less suffocating. Such that, after a short giggle, Kanaya was able to continue. Now, spirits bolstered, she said, “Well You See After Having Engaged In Prolonged Treatment Here I Feel That I Am Perhaps Ready To Face Life Once More”

 

“Oh No Please Scratch That Am Ready”

 

“I Have Already Filed A Release Request”

 

Silence came over the room. Kanaya once again felt hideously anxious. Rose looked on while setting the pen down. “I see,” she began wearing an expression that now troubled Kanaya. It was that enigmatic smile Rose put on for when she had something to hide. “I’m quite pleased that you’re feeling confident enough to once more tackle that dreadful beast known as ‘Real Life’. I pray for your success in this endeavor.” Having said this Rose turned back to her desk and set her little book aside.

 

Was Rose upset? Yes more than likely. The two were a dynamic duo of silly crafts and snarky horseshit. Now this partnership was potentially coming to a close. The sole relationship of the sort Rose really had at St. Lobaf’s and, from what Kanaya knew, perhaps ever. On impulse Kanaya added, “I Shall Come To Visit When I Can Make Time To Do So”

 

“I’d quite enjoy that I’m sure,” was all Rose said in response. Another silence came over the room, this one oddly more unsettling than the last. Rose could be so frighteningly automatic. Kanaya tried to ignore the feeling and looked to the clock. Lights out would come in a short while. She took up her silly book again in the meantime. The other woman was writing again, penning her supposed wizard slash. Time passed on in this manner. Kanaya trying and failing to read; Rose writing god knows what.

 

Until Rose threw down her pen and gave a loud, pained sigh. More and more Kanaya was feeling that this had indeed been an atrocious plan. No sleep would be had at this rate and her remaining days at St. Lobaf would be ones of awkwardness. She was just so damn certain of it. Regardless of the tense nature of the situation Kanaya was a meddler to the end, however. “Rose Are You All Right” she asked looking up from her book. Her friend had her head resting in her hands and her breaths were audible, deep and long.

 

Finally Rose found words, “I’ll be fine, dear. Just give me a moment. You can go back to reading your frivolous book.”

 

To meddle or not? What was the right answer? Kanaya certainly wasn’t aware and, though it proved highly unpleasant, took to silence out of nervousness. She should have been able to do something. Instead she sat around awkwardly as Rose did her damnedest to pull herself together. To be that ever classy, snarky broad she was. These efforts appeared to be in vain. Rose was crying now. Kanaya couldn’t see it and Rose was rather talented at stifling sounds of distress, but she was and Kanaya knew it. Whatever the problem was Kanaya couldn’t grasp it. As such she continued to sit feeling hopelessly useless. If only for a moment. Nervous wreck of a perfectionist she might be Kanaya had to act in such situations. What’s more, she actually could. Even if her only option was to raise general concern. “Rose Is Something The Matter” she asked regardless of how stupid it sounded. It had to be done and what’s more, it was.

 

Rose threw back her head and gave a long sigh. She was trapped. Kanaya knew that, as well as how much Rose hated such situations. But then they all did. At last a response came. The blonde leaned forward once more and rested her forehead in a hand before stating, as coolly as she could,” This is quite the vexing situation. I have not a single path down which to abscond..” She paused for a moment after annoying her defeat. “To answer your inquiry, yes. The solution to this puzzle in particular relates to a discussion I had with dear, sweet Karkles early this morn. As unrefined a clod he is his occasional shot hits its mark. Better than he chances to suspect, but then that goes without saying, honestly.”

 

Following this Rose became quiet once more. More prodding was required and prodding a skill Kanaya had near brought to mastery. As much as a meddling meddler meddlefriend could aspire to. “I See Are You At All Comfortable Speaking On The Matter” she asked while looking over at her friend with worry; worry with a dash of hope underneath it. “I Could Seek Assistance If You Feel It Necessary But Only On Your Leave”. The last bit was a crucial part. One had to play skillfully and deviously with Rose.

 

The efforts worked. Somewhat to Kanaya’s surprise. Rose let out another sigh and, after another short moment of tension, began: “I suppose I could take either of two simpler options available to me. I could stubbornly refuse to speak or perhaps I could deflect the truth either through careful use of loquatious jargon or outright falsehood. It is a tactic I’m well known for after all. However such methods will simply aggravate the issue at hand and, I suppose, provide Mr. Vantas with a form of victory. Loss is the bane of my existence; it’s truly dreadful to be such a spiteful grouse sometimes.” Though her words were long they revealed nothing. Rose knew this, cursing about “logorrheic drivel”. Kanaya patiently awaited further response. She did not have to wait long. Following a series of slow breaths and tossing away of her notebook, Rose continued, “Karkat, the insufferable thing he is, has this strange preoccupation with the actions and relationships of others. I’ve theorized that his profound expressions of hatred for all those around him can be safely traced back to his own self loathing, but I digress. Like most days he projected this via harassment of those around him. I sadly had the misfortune of being present for his verbal temper tantrum, as did Sollux. Following a particularly creative string of insults, I commended him on his obsession with the relationship status of all around him, as well as making a quip about his ailing ego; I wasn’t at all in the mood for his nonsense. Karkles, always being quick on the uptake, made a retort regarding what he viewed to be a mind-bending record of inaction on my part that was, ultimately, more sicking than acts of frosting covered frot. I of course stated that he was full of shit, which I believe was quite a foolish action. It didn’t deter our cantankerous little _friend_ in the slightest unfortunately and, as I left in search of some respite, he continued to rant and rave.”

 

This all came out in an oddly rushed stream. Her normal cool tone with its elegant rhythm was broke up. Rose seemed to want to hide behind a spew of barely intelligible babbling, yet, as she stated, she would not. As it was the truth was now out. The blonde had been shaken by Karkat’s declarations of cowardice. Rose had seemed to take most of his jeers well, however Karkat had made it through once more. Stress has a predilection for snowballing, forcing things otherwise wholly unrelated into the open. This in mind Kanaya was about to begin her efforts at calming Rose. Rose, however, now sitting straight up and with an oddly stiff posture stopped her. “A moment, Kanaya.”

 

“Ah Of Course”

 

“He’s right, you realize. Hence my great distaste,” Rose began as Kanaya watched on, now somewhat perplexed. Going to comforting seemed the normal next step. Still Rose continued, voice now shaky and all facades of calm finally abandoned wholly, “Kakart, as hideously ignorant as he is at times, has points more profound than one would expect. At this moment his accusations are proving themselves to not be libelous slander, but truth. Full truth. I hate him quite a bit at this time.”

 

Another pause was taken. Whatever words Rose had she couldn’t voice them. And so Kanaya said, “Rose Im Confused”

 

“Yes I know. I intended for that. I’m nothing if not a master of stalling,” Rose responded once again taking the pen in hand. It was quickly tossed away,” Oh god fucking dammit.”

 

“Rose If You Need Assistance Please Infor-“

 

“Kanaya. Please. Hold,” Rose said more curtly than she intended apparently for she added a small, “I apologize.” Kanaya could but wait now. For whatever was to come. Waiting. It was loathsome. Dread is a hateful foe. She clutched at her night gown for but a second, ending the action because bunching her clothes never amounted to anything good. Rose meanwhile seemed to struggle in gather what strength she could. Then, in a hurried fashion, finally said, “I’ve grown quite fond of you. In a romantic fashion. Dear god. That sounds so retarded.”

 

Not a word was spoken. Rose turned back only to look away again after a short glance. She took to glaring at the desk. Kanaya simply stared on in a state of shock. And then it came; a nigh overwhelming torrent of feeling. Joy, nearly indescribable joy. Confusion too. Fear as well. Suffocating fear that things may be a cruel ruse or a dream. No matter how irrational it was to think such. Then for a time disorientation came to Kanaya. Rose let out a declaration of, “Shit,” and refused to move from her spot. She would burn holes in that desk first. At least Kanaya might make an observation to such humorous effect were she not so dumbstruck. She looked down at her lap, the waves of emotion finally calming themselves as she examined her hands. Those hands she had hated so much. Those hands that Rose had told her were quite pretty. Hope it was that that and other quirks of the difficult woman had brought to life; that hope appeared to be vindicated.

 

Now in a state of numb shakiness Kanaya, smiling widely and without control, looked up from her hands. Rose’s ears could be seen. They were red, a bright red. Though still desiring to sit on the matter, ever cautious and submissive, Kanaya was at last sparked into action. By god she would chase and hold on this time. Because she wanted to. Because she could. “Rose” she asked calling for attention. The blonde’s back stiffened ever so slightly. “Rose I Love You Or It Seems That Way I Feel A Bit Hasty In Stating That”

 

“I Shall Be Hasty For Once However So”

 

“I Love You”

 

Her face was terribly warm now and she couldn’t drop the suspicion that the confession came too soon. How could she be sure of it after all? Still there it had been given. The truth, though still nervous about giving it, was finally out in the open. A burden felt lifted. If only somewhat there it was. A glorious, euphoric sense of inhibition. Such a rare feeling and still couched by fear, but the spark was present. Rose was still boring holes into the desk. Her thoughts, whatever they were, were not voiced. All she gave was a null, “I see.” Nothing came and nothing more would without another gentle prod.

 

Kanaya rose from her place, lacking words at the time. She walked over slowly and placed a hand on Rose’s shoulder lightly. The blonde tensed ever so slightly more for just a moment. Her shoulders fell, relaxing a tad. For a short time Kanaya held this, wanting to give Rose time to adjust. Just a tad before pulling the other woman in a light embrace. Rose became tense once more. She became talkative as well. “I can’t help, but feel that Vantas has still won despite my efforts,” she began, voice still shaky and uneven, “Clearly I’m a failure at the fine art of being an insufferable shrew.” Noise was all the words were, an attempt to gain ground once more. Rose loved to talk, making her a poor match for association with Karkat.

 

That fact mattered little, however. It’s sole use being tied to the lofty goal of calming Rose down. Not that Kanaya had managed to calm herself entirely either. Holding that silly blonde lightly she still felt terribly excited. A pleasant sort primarily, but excitement nonetheless. Talking was needed. “I Would Judge Your Success At Being Insufferable To Be Nonexistent”

 

“Though Perhaps You Score Fine Marks As A Shrew”

 

Rose let out a laugh, nervousness tinting it, “I’m quite that bad at it? Also am I supposed to regard this assertion as a compliment?”

 

“I Suppose You Could Consider It A Praise Of Your Character Though A Personal Insult” Kanaya responded noting the ever so slight loosening of Rose’s shoulders. To feel that and know that was a wonderful thing, intoxicating.

 

“Clever, Ms. Maryam. I feel that I shall accept your suggested interpretation. There’s still my spite quota to fill you see,” said Rose while leaning back, just ever so lightly. Kanaya took the movement as an opportunity to tighten her embrace. Just ever so lightly. The shoulders, so small as they were, rose for a fraction of a second. Rose’s ears were a bright red once more; Kanaya wanted to giggle at that but fought the desire back. “Dear god,” was all Rose had to say for the time being.

 

“I Could Stop If Youre Uncomfortable” Kanaya blurted out on impulse. That’s not what she wanted, but maybe stopping and hiding was the best option for the both of them.

 

“No!” Rose answered in a shriller tone than was normal. A breath was taken by the blonde. “I apologize for being as awkward as I am, but please don’t. I’m…I like it. I assure you.”

 

“You Dont Have To”

 

“Kanaya don’t you dare start,” Rose stated, having found her more commanding tones once more, “I may be in risk of perishing from embarrassment, but I am fine with this. Let me walk to my own grave, you great fuss!”

 

The response shocked Kanaya. She had become so ready to retreat; so sure she would have to. Her voice was her own regardless,” That Sounds Quite A Bit More Like Yourself And Since Your So Hopelessly Stubborn I Shall Have To Accept These Terms”

 

“Yes. Yes you shall.”

 

“Should I Inform The Staff Of Your Imminent Demise”

 

“Later, yes. For now, however, we must continue down this path to shaming me. As such please keep with this hugging thing,” Rose said while at last releasing all the tension she had kept pent up. It was a slow and noticeable loosening of muscles.

 

“Im Cursed To Stand Till You Expire Then” Kanaya said jokingly. There was no reason to complain. Not in the slightest. Save the sneaking suspicion that she needed to somewhat shift her position, but that could and would be ignored.

 

Joke or no Rose responded with a nervous, “Ah. Yes that is quite the inconvenience to you, isn’t it. I suppose we could relocate. The location of my death matters little, save that it occurs.”

 

“Relocate”

 

“Yes. That’s exactly right,” she confirmed, “For a moment of course.”

 

“I See” Kanaya stated while letting up her hold on Rose. Relocate meant but one place. The beds. Some might mention the floor, but those suggestions were to be ignored. Floors are unpleasant enough as is, but St. Lobaf’s had annoyingly hard “economy style” carpeting. Still as she walked over to her small bed, she could not shake a new fear. One that was frustratingly indistinct for the moment. Rose left the desk behind, her face still flushed and lacking her typical confidence. She paused for a moment before quickly taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Kanaya sat next to her and resumed with the hugging, but now it had taken a new form. That petite frame was pulled against her own. Not simply Rose’s head and a small portion of her back, but the full of her. A single arm was wrapped around Rose’s waist. The blonde’s head hovered above her for a moment before coming to rest against her chest. Rose’s heavy breaths could be heard oh so clearly. And felt. The nervous heaving of her chest was felt.

 

It was then that the source of her fear hit her and she nearly ran to the other bed from the realization. She would not and did not howver. Perhaps her fear would be for naught. Just silly paranoia. Bed or no, awkward and aroused women or no, it was just paranoia and nothing more. Ill founded worry. Rose’s right hand came to rest of Kanaya’s thigh. Whether intentional or not it meant nothing. Nothing at all. Everything was fine.

 

The call of “Lights out, everyone!” rang out through the halls of the ward and Rose scampered away to the wall in response. She flicked off the lights and lights off she hurried to her own bed, laying down briefly. She stared up at the ceiling while Kanaya felt a rush of mixed relief and disappointment.The disappointment seemed to be winning out and she was ready to curl up in bed and cry quietly. It was right though. This was what would happen. She was right. But Rose sat up once more and headed back to Kanaya. She sat down next to her and leaned against the other woman.

 

Things weren’t right and Kanaya was becoming more certain that she’d rather they not. Rose, hands in her lap, said, “Kanaya?”

 

“Yes” she asked. No response came. Rose didn’t have one to word. She simply looked at Kanaya and for a brief moment their gazes came together. Rose had such pretty eyes, weird and pink as they were. And though they had looked at one another before they had never before _looked_ at one another. Embarrassed more than likely, Rose quickly turned away to stare at something else. Probably the wall or desk. Kanaya ruined this. Foiling Rose’s plans completely and acting for once without worry holding her back, crippling everything she tried, Kanaya reached over and turned Rose’s face towards her once more. And kissed her. It was a short kiss, but a brief caress. It most certainly was one, however, and Rose took to initiating another after the two parted. Hers was awkwardly placed, landing just below Kanaya’s bottom lip. Kanaya quickly corrected that. Mouth coming meet Rose’s the two kissed once more and it was to be more than the first. Kanaya slipped her tongue inside Rose’s mouth and pulled the petite woman closer to herself. Rose met this with an inexperienced gusto. It was strange being more talented than Rose at something; to know that for once Rose was the one completely lost and totally green. Not that Kanaya pondered on it too much. The hand resting on her thigh once more was a much more pressing matter. As was the feel of Rose’s small breasts against her own. And the heat of their bodies and that tongue in her mouth and the shudder that ran through Rose. So much to feel and yet not a bit of it conflicting. It all came to together to create a single image in motion. One that was all together pleasant and exciting.

 

The kiss was broken and Rose, panting and looking highly confused, rested her forehead against Kanaya’s shoulder. Her hand was still on Kanaya’s thigh and she dug her fingers into the nightgown. Kanaya took the time to catch her breath. Catch her breath and marvel just a tad at the state Rose was in. The blonde was confused and docile. It was so strange. The way had to be forged by Kanaya for once, as odd as that was. Kanaya rested a hand on Rose’s thigh and slowly snaked it up till her fingers came to graze against Rose’s bare stomach. Hand peeking just under the hem of Rose’s nightshirt and waited.

 

“Kanaya…” Rose said, her voice so small now.

 

“Yes”

 

“It’s…fine. You can…Please. Fuck I can’t think of anything to say,” Rose answered while letting go of Kanaya’s night dress. She shuffled forward bringing herself slightly nearer to Kanaya. Most of all she still hid her face. Kanaya at last had the go ahead she needed and with it she removed her hand from its place. It traveled upwards until it came to hover in front of one of Rose’s breasts. Kanaya let it hang in the air looking for approval. One last chance to just end it all now and make this a time of awkward almost sex. Fear came back to Kanaya at that moment, and shame. It was crushing and suffocating. She had mucked it up before. That moment was just the horrid precursor to more almosts and maybes with her ex. Because she was scared and neurotic and just so fucking miserable. Kanaya’s confidence took a hit and she was prepared to fall apart once more. That’s just how things worked your brain was so broken. It had twice before now. That’s the only reason she was even here. Because she hadn’t fixed herself before.

 

“…go ahead,” Rose squeaked out. With those two words of approval Kanaya came back. She could, she would, and she did. With confidence to do so regained she reached forward cupping one of Rose’s breasts. The grasp was light. Rose moved her hand from Kanaya’s lap to the bed, clutching at the covers loosely in what was likely anticipation. A first exploratory squeeze was made; though small Rose’s breasts proved pleasant, firm and having enough to hold in one’s hand. Rose’s grasp on the comforter tightened and she appeared to be making an attempt at controlling her breaths. They were long and slow, carefully timed and planned. Another squeeze firmer and more sure than the last was made and Rose let out of a slight gasp, barely audible. She was so vulnerable and yet so receptive. This did but urge Kanaya along, stiffening her resolve with a desire stronger than any she had yet to know. Curious and confused, yet so strangely adamant, she made a slight press forward with the ball of her hand. Another too, more forceful than the last. Rose’s breath was hitched. When it came back it came in long, raspy exhalations.

 

A nipple, small and pert, was felt through Rose’s night shirt and though compelled to let go out of silly fear Kanaya continued with her careful kneading. Her actions were more certain now and she reached a slow, even pace. Rose bit down on her lip and was now digging her fingers deep into the bed spread before rolling her hips forward once. The action was slight and she couldn’t see terribly well solely by the moonlight, but Kanaya noticed it. A hungry pang rang through her. One that was met with a subsequent wave of disappointment and distress as Rose pulled herself back and away from Kanaya. Anxious and afraid she watched Rose as she reached for the bottom of her shirt. The blonde hastily began an attempt to remove it; it snagged briefly on her elbow bringing forth a curse of “Oh fuck me.” The garment was removed, however, and tossed to the side with little care. Kanaya, normally one to fuss about treatment of clothing, ignored the nagging obsession at the back of her mind. Instead her hear skipped a beat and her breath left her for a moment, only to come back in arrhythmical pants. Even in the dim light she could make out Rose’s bare torso. The erect and perky nipples, her flat stomach with its small concave navel. All of it was in front of Kanaya that moment and as delightfully perfect as Rose’s form was while clothed it was more so then. She wanted it. Not to be Rose as she once had desired, but to be pressed against that body, feeling every last bit of it in a mad rush to be close. Closer than close.

 

“God it’s cold,” Rose said pulling Kanaya from her aroused stupor . The blonde was wearing a smile, but was far from the image of surety and control she normally was. “I’m stalling again aren’t I? Good god I’m pathetic,” she continued while flashing Kanaya a silly looking grin, “Sorry about that.” Kanaya was prepared to rise up in protest. Yes she wanted Rose, but the woman had for a time rearranged her priorities. She had to meddle. Rose did not give her the chance, however. The blonde made a small waving motion and seemed to be searching for words to define what she meant by the gesture. They didn’t come for a time and so Rose stared in frustration. As they did she looked up and was wearing a look of determination; a nervous sort, but determination. “Kanaya I feel it’s appropriate that we freeze to death together. Unless you kill me prior to that for saying something so hopelessly moronic. I’m not skilled at this art of bedtime chatter it seems. Vexing.”

 

“No But Neither Am I” was Kanaya’s response. She made no effort to comply with Rose’s command. Because though it was silly, that old anxiety came back. Yes she looked fabulous while dressed and she no longer hated her appearance, but the idea of her body bare and before Rose was a different matter. A painful memory came to mind as well, a harsh feeling of déjà vu. It was happening again. A repeat of that stupid date.

 

“Kanaya.”

 

“Yes What Is It” she asked while looking at her hands. They were folded in her lap. One of Rose’s hand came to rest on her own; it was small and pale and Rose’s nails were painted black as usual. She had grown very fond of them.

 

“I’ve said it once before and I will state it again if need be.”

 

“What”

  


“You’re beautiful, you silly thing.”

 

Kanaya looked up to see a much more Rose like smile on the blonde’s face, strong and sure. “I Yes Youre Right I Believe Perhaps” she said while comfort rushed through her, calming her nerves.

 

“Of course I am now please join me in the aforementioned hypothermia suicide attempt,” Rose said while her hand from Kanaya’s, setting it on her still clothed thigh. A light grab at the fabric was made and Kanaya felt at once reassured and embarrassed. The gown was coming off whether or not Kanaya herself was the one to remove it. She would be however. Rose wouldn’t force her way through everything. She grabbed hold of the fabric of her nightgown, wonderful feeling with its silky texture she noted. It was raised up and over until it was finally off. Rose drew in a sharp breath. Kanaya took to carefully setting the garment aside on the nightstand to steel her nerves. The blonde meanwhile was examining the nearly naked Kanaya and trying her damnedest to look as cool and confident as she could. She wasn’t terribly successful in this; Rose still looked awkward and out of her element.

 

Kanaya too was nervous and sat in front of Rose doing nothing more as a result. Her body felt numb and though she knew exactly what she wanted, she made no move to take it. Rose did. The other woman stupidly said, “Well now,” while nervously scooting towards Kanaya and, though still nervous as hell, she leaned forward and took Kanaya’s mouth in her own. The kiss was an ill timed mess of awkwardness neither woman syncing to the other but trying in seeming vain to do so. A hand came to rest on Kanaya’s thigh, Rose’s thumb brushing against her inner leg lightly. That touch was so light and so near. She wanted it, needed it, and her hips rolled forward reflexively vying for more. It wasn’t Kanaya’s fully conscious mind that moved them. Not the painstakingly cautious woman who fretted over nearly every last thing, but a self who hid behind her. One at last free of worry and inhibitions; a Kanaya who did not think, but acted. Simply being she deepened that oddly paced kiss and, leading Rose along at a new and steady speed, turned it from a train wreck in motion to something perfect in its own fashion.

 

Rose shifted, moving her hand from Kanaya’s thigh to the other woman’s hip and moved to sit on her knees. She scooted her way closer to Kanaya and in a moment glorious and natural, Kanaya wrapped her arms around Rose’s waist and pulled the petite woman closer. Rose complied, pressing herself against Kanaya as closely as she could manage. The small pert nipples brushed up against Kanaya’s skin and pressed in. That sensation sent a shudder through her and she became aware, so acutely aware, of everything about Rose in that moment. Every small movement, the heat of her body, the muffled moans that echoes through Kanaya’s mouth, the scent of that terrible generic soap St. Lobaf’s purchased. All of it was so clear and so there, yet none of it pushed her into an over-sensory fit. The moment was a perfection, yet one that needed constant tweaking. Yet it wasn’t an anxiety filled effort from Hell, but such that it was a natural automaticness. And then when Rose broke the kiss, roughly panting and nuzzling Kanaya’s cheek, it was perfect once more. As it was when Rose pressed Kanaya down against the bed.

 

Then laying back on the cold covers the two bucked their hips, each moving at their own pace. Kanaya even then was slow and calculating. Rose couldn’t seem to decide on a rhythm she fancied, rapidly shifting from slow thrusts to frantic gyrations. Very little in the way of satisfaction was getting done. Kanaya felt the itch of frustration. Rose seemed to as well for she began to struggle to remove her shorts. She wiggled around and pulled at the offending garments while swearing. During the battle Kanaya managed to rub up against one of Rose’s legs. Letting out a small moan she kept at her rutting. Though still a layer remained between her and the silly blonde woman she loved so. The silly blonde woman who had succeeded in not just removing her shorts, but her panties as well. She tossed them away, kicking them down the bed with a strange fervor. She wanted them gone and away at all costs. Apparently satisfied that she was no longer touching them in any fashion she ceased her kicking and put a hand on Kanaya’s hip. Kanaya stopped her motions, understanding Rose’s wordless intent. She was okay with it and when Rose looked up asking, “This is a rather stupid question at this point, but may I?” she nodded. Rose was not slow and deliberate in the removing of Kanaya’s underwear, though she moved with a carefulness she didn’t expend towards her own clothing. For that Kanaya was grateful, even when the blonde unceremoniously tossed them over the side of the bed. That wasn’t important for the time being.

 

What was important was the fact of their nakedness and what to do with that. Kanaya took it as an opportunity to embrace Rose one more. So much was right with the feel of the woman’s tiny frame against herself. Yet still the itch remained. She needed more. To be closer still, as if in an attempt to join into one being. Judging from Rose’s renewed efforts at rubbing against Kanaya ,she needed more as well. A warm slick liquid came in contact with Kanaya’s thigh as the smaller woman began her rutting once more. Still something was wrong it seemed, for Rose paused and shifted about. Awkwardly searching for something; something Kanaya herself searched for even as she rolled hips fruitlessly at the air. The frustrating quest at last had a clear goal as, through much moving about, Kanaya’s clit came into contact with Rose’s nether regions. Still Rose fumbled around until she let out a satisfied groan. Having succeeded in their quest the two thrust against one another, their rhythms still not synced. It was frustrating and silly as Kanaya tried to match Rose.

 

But when, through all the disappointment and difficulty, they finally managed it the world seemed perfect once more. Even though a nagging worry about the creaking of the bed and the noises she couldn’t stifle hung at the back of Kanaya’s mind things seemed perfect. Others might hear, might know, but the sensation of Rose moving against her was a more pressing concern. As was the gradually mounting pleasure that was still yet pain. Yet Kanaya could not cease in her rubbing against Rose. She had to continue even though with every moment the frustration grew and grew. She was a mess. Her breaths were uneven and ragged and she had to catch the moan that threatened to escape her. Rose seemed no better off. No longer the dignified junior psychoanalyst, but just another person in the throes of ecstasy. And that knowledge just excited Kanaya all the more. One of her hands came to rest in Rose’s hair, her fingers entwined with the blonde locks. The other other pressed Rose nearer to herself. She still wasn’t close enough to Rose and she was beginning to think she never would be.

 

She was moving closer and closer to a moment of release with each thrust of her hips. She was moving too quickly to that point, however, and yet far too slowly. And Kanaya closed her eyes, totally lost as she neared the edge ever more. No stupid jokes came to mind nor any irrational worries about how things weren’t perfectly arranged. There was no opportunity nor reason for either. There was just this moment. Just Rose’s husky panting in her ear, just that growing tension between her legs, just the wondrously synchronized motion of their bodies. So near now and yet too far for her liking, Kanaya dug her nails in Rose’s scalp and back. Rose let out a groan of pleasured pain as she gripped tightly at the bed covers. And then it came. One brief rush of euphoric bliss and release. All control over herself was lost in that brief moment; her hips rolling forward frantically as a long, drawn out moan escaped her at last. Rose soon followed and, as Kanaya’s was ending, began her own orgasm. A noise would have escaped her had she not bit down on her lower lip at the moment. No, Rose thrust on in silence save for her heavy breaths and the sounds of her rubbing against Kanaya.

 

And then it was over. Kanaya’s mind was a blank haze. Thoughts did not come to her. All she had in her was the strength to note the continued warmth of Rose’s body, as well as its weight. There was simply Rose, herself, and the bed. Nothing more. Her grip on Rose’s hair and back loosened and her head lay down against the annoyingly firm mattress of her bed. Rose breathed in slow and deep, her pace stabilizing once more. That Kanaya noted as she lay there, truly calm and content in every manner for the time.

 

Rose, however, was not content to pass out in the position she was. Having recovered from her post orgasmic stupor she mumbled about cold and began efforts to wiggle under the covers. Her moving about proved largely fruitless and Kanaya, who too had begun to note the nippiness, was the one who managed to cover them. While Rose wriggled about uselessly, refusing to use her hands for whatever reason, Kanaya grabbed the comforter and pushed it down. It involved having to sit up some, but it worked and that was what mattered. She pulled the blanket up and over the both of them, covering herself up in her customary manner. She didn’t worry about getting the action exactly right anymore, but the habit was burned deep into her. She would build her silly blanket cocoons. Rose had to poke her head up from the covers, just enough so that she could breath from her nose easily. Peeking out from under the blanket she moved her way closer to Kanaya. Satisfied with the slight contact between them, the blonde proceeded to curl up into a tight ball. Sleeping is not what Rose took to doing however. She continued to peer up from under the blanket at Kanaya. Whether or not she was smiling Kanaya couldn’t tell then. “I do suppose that we would be nearing the end of a standard romance and, as usual, with nothing to show for our hasty actions. Certainly not anything in the negative, as speedily formed pacts are never subject to such things. So tell me, Kanaya, what form of terrible credits scroll are you anticipating? I personally shall bet on the typical R&B filled dullness that no one bothers to sit through. You can’t beat the modern classics,” Rose said, her voice muffled by the blankets. She looked on intently at Kanaya and, though she may have been wrong, Kanaya felt she was smiling at her wryly.

 

“Dont Those Films Also Involve A Quickly Made Proposal That Is Accepted Immediately”

 

“I Believe We May Be Breaking Romantic Tradition Rose” Kanaya answered while looking back at the tiny blonde. Only Rose’s knees were touching her at the moment. It was somewhat bothersome. Though Kanaya herself didn’t make direct contact easy. She had created a wall of fabric around herself. As much as she could without leaving Rose defenseless against the cold St. Lobaf night.

 

“That is a common convention, true, but not an absolute. In truth the one rule we must abide to is to end our tale in around five minutes from now. I fancy that we shall be devoured by the black void that is the credits scroll, forever removed from existence and memory,” Rose stated while shifting around. She left her standard ball and scooted closer still to Kanaya, worming her way into Kanaya’s protective cocoon. Having succeeded in that she rested her head under Kanaya’s chin and buried her face into her chest. Kanaya met this by placing an arm over Rose and pulling her closer.

 

“That Sounds Rather Depressing Is This How You Reconcile With The Pain Caused By Karkats Choice In Entertainment”

 

Rose chuckled lightly, “By wishing horrible death by oblivion upon the participants? Most definitely.”

 

“Isnt That An Issue That Should Be Raised To The Staff”

 

“Yes but you forget, Kanaya. I’m to be as hideously difficult as I can be. Even now you should regard every word I say as a thinly veiled insult or outright lie.”

 

“So We May Not Be Ingested By The Demon Known As The Credits Scroll”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

“Youre Truly A Vexing Woman Rose” Kanaya said before burying her face in Rose’s hair. It was so pleasantly soft. Even the generic soap St. Lobaf’s bought became charming. She had touched the locks before, during the silly make overs she gave. Her materials were limited, but they were fun and full of potential nonetheless. What Kanaya had not had was a chance to rest her cheeks against it, lightly nuzzling the other woman from time to time lovingly. All with the knowledge that this other woman loved her in the same fashion that she did her. Despite her tiredness a bubbly sort of joy welled up inside her again. “Doubly Vexing In That You Are Delaying Our Possible Death By Credits”

 

“I have already told you that marriage is not a necessary condition for ending such films, Kanaya. If it shall set your mind at ease, however, I shall accept this and, in the proper manner, ignore any and all ramifications this would have. We will hold our honeymoon in Portland, reputedly. If we’re so unfortunate as to avoid death by credits we shall get a sequel in which we break up in said city during our honeymoon, immediately going through with a divorce that we will simply ruin via remarrying by the end of the film. And then, with any luck, we shall be taken out behind the shed and shot before having to endure a third film.”

 

“You Have A Mind For Blockbuster Success Rose”

 

“Please don’t wound me so, Kanaya. It’s a cruelty not even the likes of Serket deserves,” Rose said with an affectation of offense. Kanaya smiled and placed a kiss in Rose’s hair. “Don’t trick yourself into believing that will be suitable recompense. Spite is my one true love.”

 

“Im Aware Of That And Im Quite Terrified”

 

“You lie in such a hopelessly blatant fashion as if your intent is to toy with death. Intriguing. You’re quite the risk taker. I admire that,” Rose said as a yawn came to her. She mumbled something incoherently.

 

“That Is A Sign That You Should Cease With Your Talking And Rest I Should Think”

 

“Sleep Is Rather Important”

 

Rose groaned in response and nipped at Kanaya lightly. “We Could Awake Late And Have To Be Roused By A Nurse”

 

“Kanaya you’re one of those inhuman beings known as a ‘morning person’. I’m in no danger of such public shaming,” Rose said haughtily.

 

Kanaya didn’t take to the fear truly either. At the time it seemed an impossibility. Whatever they said about how droll romantic films were, the truth was that for a moment she felt as lacking in worry as those silly not-people from chick flicks. Whatever would come would and Kanaya wasn’t in a state of mind to worry about it. Instead she sighed while closing her eyes. Once more there was merely a world of sound and touch, but it was one of profound peace. Not the excited rush from earlier that had made her writhe mindlessly in a physical plea for more sensation. “I See” she started “Regardless I Shall Get Some Sleep Though I Am An Inhuman Morning Person”

 

“Clever. You intend to bully me into sleeping via ignoring me. You’re a devious woman, Kanaya,” Rose said while rubbing her forehead against Kanaya. It was a pleasant feeling Kanaya let out a satisfied “Mmm” in response.

 

“I Suppose And Youre A Rather Pleasant Woman”

 

Rose stifled a yawn before delivering her response, “Flattery will get you nowhere.” Despite having said that Rose grumbled and quieted down. No more talking just to talk. Just resting. Satisfied with her coaxing Rose into silence and, eventually, sleep Kanaya focused her efforts on sleeping as well. Though the occasional burst of emotion came to her, Kanaya wound down. Brief thoughts drifted by in an airy, dreamlike manner. Too light to grasp them, yet not wholly insubstantial. With the light breathing Rose in her ears Kanaya fell to sleep.

 

Upon waking the next morning Kanaya’s worry had resurfaced. Her heart fell, beaten down by pangs of embarrassment and concern. Something had just happened and though it had been pleasant there was still a potential series of threats looming over her. She managed to still her mind, however. It was proving easier than previously, but there was still discomfort involved. At least it was manageable now. The warmth and sight of the still sleeping Rose proved a great help in this as well. Kanaya, though still anxious, couldn’t suppress a smile at the sight and, despite herself, refused to get up. Instead she snuggled closer to Rose. Rose who grumbled at having been moved slightly. Kanaya couldn’t help but giggle at that. It aroused another groan from the light sleeper. While Kanaya didn’t laugh at it she did take to giving the grumpy girl a light peck on the head. Oddly that hadn’t made Rose stir.

 

For a time Kanaya laid about, savoring the moment. Even if she did check the clock a few times. One of the nurses forcing them to awake wouldn’t be a good thing. Indeed the time to rise came quicker than she’d have liked. Still they had to. Such shame and awkwardness had to be avoided and so she gently nudged Rose. Light sleeper that she was, Rose mumbled in complaint while digging her face into Kanaya. Waking though she was Rose adamantly fought it. “Rose Please We Must Get Up Soon” Kanaya said while lightly pushing the other woman some more.

 

A growl came forth from Rose, “You have not a shred of decency, Bossy Boots.”

 

“Neither Of Us Shall If The Nurses Barge In Rose” Kanaya said while looking down at the blonde. Her face was still sufficiently buried. In fact her head was barely visible at all.

 

“They steal your dignity regardless. It’s what therapists are paid to do,” Rose responded while attempting to worm her way deeper under the covers. Soon her whole head was nowhere to be seen.

  


“I See Well Ill Get Ready The Day Regardless” Kanaya stated while sitting up. She left the bed though she regretted doing so almost immediately. Rose was still there and wasting time in bed was an amazingly inviting choice. She was also stark naked and while no one was around to see other than Rose -whose face was covered by blanket- she was embarrassed. Wanting to be clothed once more Kanaya hurried off to the bathroom, a carefully folded bundle of clothing in her hands. Her morning routine calmed her some. The familiar actions and eventual dressing assuaged her nerves. By the time she was done Rose had sat up. She glared at the window with its offending light. Her hatred was such that she ignored what was likely to be her own nervousness at being unclothed. Her delayed reaction had to be sparked by Kanaya; Rose caught a glimpse of Kanaya clearly observing the blonde woman’s body. It was a look half pleased and half shocked. Rose’s reaction was an immediate flushing of her face. She took no effort to cover herself, however. Instead Rose grabbed an outfit from the dresser with a lack of care that would have made Kanaya wince under normal circumstances. Rose then hurried past Kanaya to the restroom. The sound of the shower rang out and Kanaya, blushing and awkward as she was, set to making her bed. Rose’s shorts and underwear were found burrowed into the sheets. They were tossed into the hamper and did little but aggravate her nervousness. Bed made and clothing picked up, Kanaya sat down and had a moment to calm her nerves.

 

One marred by Rose’s finishing up. The blonde walked out of the bathroom and though dressed and though the room was returned to a neutral state, Kanaya was hit with realization at what had occurred last night. Her eyes widened briefly. Rose’s face was flushed, though she likely would have blamed it on the shower if confronted about it. A silence came over them. One that Kanaya broke, “Good Morning Rose”

 

“A good morning to you as well, though I hesitate to call it good,” Rose answered still standing near the bathroom door. “That’s due to my singular hatred of waking, however.”

 

“Then Youre Comfortable With It” Kanaya asked as she looked at Rose. The blonde crossed the room and took a seat on her bed, a look of knowing on her face.

 

“I’m not sure if comfortable is the correct way to describe how I feel. Though if you are concerned then I must inform you that I’m pleased with last night’s events,” Rose said as she reached for her headband. She slipped it on, adjusted it by feel, and gazed over at Kanaya.

 

“Youre Certain” Kanaya asked feeling worry well up in her chest. Too hasty. She was too hasty.

 

Rose dismissed her concerns, however. She put on a smile that, while not her confident Lalonde grin, was one of strength and surety. “Yes, Kanaya. It was quite foolish and awkward, but yes. I’m fine with matters and how they turned out.”

 

“Then You” Kanaya couldn’t continue. She trailed off nervously.

 

“Do I what? If you’re referring to my feelings towards you then the answer is in the affirmative.”

  


Again Kanaya felt overwhelmed at a wave of emotion, joy and relief this time. So much so she could wear a wide and entirely pleased smile and say, “So Youre Still Fond Of Me In A Romantic Fashion”

 

Rose frowned, but not out of true upset. Her expressions were subtle and Kanaya had become decent at reading them. “That was rather mean, Kanaya. I’m not sure if I can forgive you for that,” she said while standing up.

 

“Oh There Is Most Certainly Nothing I Can Do” Kanaya asked, still smiling away. It was bright and warm, a near flawless expression of how she felt.

 

The blonde examined Kanaya a moment and a smile came back to her. “You’re a dreadful cheat,” she began while heading to the door. “And I require food. Care to join me?”

 

“Of Course”

 

The way to the cafeteria was uneventful. A few nurses hurried about, but nothing worrying came up. It seemed as though they were in the clear. Until they ran into Karkat while attempting to get coffee that is. It was wordless. He saw Rose and looked at her for a moment. She quirked a brow at him and then a look of mind-shattering realization hit him. His eyes widened, his mouth fell open, and a blush came to his face. He quickly hurried off, splashing a bit of coffee on the floor as he went. 

 

Kanaya looked to her feet. Rose had turned red once more. Kanaya attempted to ask yet again. Just once more. Rose beat her though. “The answer is still yes, Kanaya.” 

 

The answer was yes. Despite the happy squeal of excitement from Nepeta or the wide grin from Vriska. Yes, despite the pat on the back Rose received from Gamzee and a rambling, swear filled declaration of congratulation. Even though everyone knew and though Rose suspected Vriska as being the one who spread the word the answer was still, most certainly, yes.

 

 


End file.
